The Need for Approval...

I never knew how strong of a bondage this could be.  The need for others approval, especially the approval of those most closest to you, can be the very tool used to immobilize you.  If it's not realized and you go through life always needing the approval of others eventually you lose any sense of self you ever had or hoped to have.  This is one of the mindsets that the Lord shed light on for Roger and I while we were being prepared for this journey.  I'd love to tell you that we've passed the test and have been completely set free.  But I can't.  That nasty spirit of approval is constantly trying to get it's hooks into us everyday.  Hence why you didn't hear from me yesterday.  

When the Lord has you walking out something like my family is currently doing , you have to be real careful who you share details with.  I've said it before, people will either bless you or curse  you.  And the enemy loves to use the one's that are suppose to be there no matter what.  That are suppose to love you regardless of whether they understand you or not.   Because with them you put your guard down.  You want to let them in. Because you just want to be loved.  You just want to be supported.  But then instead you are hit with the opposite.  Lack of concern or care.  Or just no concern or care whatsoever.  And before you know it your system is shocked.  Your spirit is broken.  If they can't love you, can anyone.  You just HURT!!! 

Love Well!!  This is what the Lord showed Roger and I.  See you can't change people.  What you can change is the way you let people affect you and the way you react to them.  Get to a point when you understand every relationship in your life and accept it for what it is without it depicting who you need to become to some how sustain it.  That's not you being true to who God's called you to be.  Answer 1 question for me.  Why is it that we feel such a need to change for every relationship in our life in hopes of keeping it and the person that we are doing it for never needs to do that for us?  It cuts both ways.  Relationships are give and take on both sides.  Eventually I just made up my mind that if I'm constantly trying to bend over backwards to keep the relationships in my life appeased then they should do the same for me. Accept me for me, not the person I have to change into just to get a glimpse of love from your eye.  And if you can't well here's the Love Well part.  I Accept that it's not my fault.  It's yours.  You've had too much control over my life for too long.  Time for it to come to an and.  But the key is learning to love them in spite of themselves.  If we can get to a place where no matter what we can still respond with an attitude of love and respect we render them powerless.  I'm still a work in progress.  But am so thankful that the Lord allowed me to see my need for approval and the detrimental affects it's had on my life.

So here's the deal. I'm living my life for Christ and trying my best to be who He desires for me to be.  For those that  can't accept that and support me in that, I will love you always, but I will no longer be bound and stagnated by you.