Simply a Mother's...Day

My mother's day went very different than I thought it would. Mother's Day started at 12 am sitting up with my oldest child not feeling well.  Shortly after taking her place on the couch and me on the love seat she looked over at me with a weak smile and said "Happy Mother's Day".  We proceeded to sit there for another 3-4 hours until she finally felt well enough to be on her own and try to sleep.  

As I climbed in bed I realized it would probably be a few short hours before my youngest would be coming in the room to surprise me with her Mother's Day act of kindness.  I found myself hoping for her to sleep a little longer so that I could too.  The day before she had woken me up early in the morning out of sheer excitement of friends coming over for the day.  She did not know, just like tonight,  I had not closed my eyes till about 3:30 am, and was ever so exhausted.  But her excitement was infectious and she got me up and out to prepare for company.  

Sure enough 8:30 this morning (4 hours after climbing in bed), there's a knock at my bedroom door. My husband and I barely get out a half alert "yes"  before there's another knock followed by a sweet voice saying "Can I come in?"  "Yes baby!" I say with all the exhaustion of the lack of sleep over the last 48 hours resonating in my voice.

As I sit up, I see this bright beautiful smile walking in holding a tray of breakfast goodies and a handmade Mother's Day card.  While looking at the face of one who has enjoyed a full night's sleep, I find myself thinking "Ugh, I just want to sleep."  And with that same thought in mind I say "Baby, I'm really not hungry right now, but thank you."  Her smile faded and a look of confusion started to come on her face.  And then I caught myself.  "This is a precious moment I thought. These years go by too fast. Sleep will be there tonight, but this moment will not and you will have missed it.  BE IN IT!!! It's worth it!  She's worth it!   BE IN IT!!" I looked at her face and sat up and with a sleepy smile on my face said "Thank you baby. You did this for me?"  Her smile returned and she proceeded with her Mother's Day gifts, followed by hugs and kisses.

I won't lie, I secretly was still hoping for a few more hours of sleep after breakfast, but to no avail. My little one continued on "gifting me" with turning on one of my favorite tv shows and climbing in the bed with me.  While her head rested on my stomach and I started rubbing her head and playing with her hair, I found myself thinking about the last 12 hours.  Sitting up with my oldest, getting a few hours sleep and now breakfast and snuggle time with my youngest. I found myself feeling this was the best mother's day.  The last 9 hours had been a summary of Motherhood. For Mother's Day I got to be mom and the joy and satisfaction that filled my heart overwhelmed me.  The day could have ended there and I would have felt complete and fulfilled.  

I'm thankful for this moment today.  Too many times they get lost in the hustle and bustle of the day. I can take for granted that I'm Mom and that my kids look at me to be exactly that.  Their mom! To be there to comfort when they are sick.  To be there with a smile on my face when they want to bless me and love on me. To be in "their" moments whole heartedly because I want to be, and desire to be. Not because I'm obligated to be.  Because they can tell the difference.

Today was the best Mother's Day ever.  Going forward I seek to have the best days of being a mother ever and living in the moment with these kiddo's for as long as I'm allowed.  Because before you know it, they've grown up and it seems all too soon.  But thank God for the moments.  Live in them, Enjoy them, Embrace them!

Happy Mother's Day Ladies! 

Lessons From a Burnt Pot...

It's been a rough last few weeks in my life.  It's been a season where God is just ripping the band aids off many old wounds.  The one's that we press down further and further for 2 reasons.  We want to believe so badly that we have moved past these events that hurt us or because we fear if we let ourselves go there, we may not come back.  I have cried more in a week than I have in a year. Where you are so emotionally exhausted all that's left is just the raw, true version of your current condition. Yeah it's been a week.

I ended up calling my mom one afternoon and having a conversation with her about what God was doing and what I was dealing with.  She reminded me that I have always known who I was.  Even from a small child I had a strong sense of purpose.  She said she felt that I had forgotten who I was. That I had allowed life to consume me.

See I've had quite a few knocks in life.  Quite a few times where the floor has just been completely swept out from under me.  I used to be one who was so full of life and motivated to achieve whatever I put my mind to.  But I haven't seen that girl in quite some time.  I find myself sometimes looking at myself in the mirror and not recognizing the person staring back.  Before you know it the hole gets deeper and deeper.  It was time for God to rip off the band aids and make me deal with my truth.

I went into my bedroom and just cried out "GOD REMIND ME OF WHO I AM!  I NEED TO SEE MYSELF THROUGH YOUR EYES!  I NEED TO REMEMBER WHO YOU SAY I AM!"

A few days before my husband was cooking and burnt one of our pots.  It was the pot that I make my tea in and I am a major tea drinker.  As it sat soaking for days I decided to look up an online remedy to get my pot back.  I followed everything the blogger said to do and proceeded to scrub.  According to instructions it should only take 30-45 seconds of elbow grease and I was now at least 5 minutes in to my scrubbing.  

Now the battle begins.  I hear the first thought.  "Just quit!  You can buy another pot at the store later. Let it go!"  "But this is my favorite pot, and I want it back."  " Nothing's happening.  It's not working out like they said...Just like your life.  Nothing's happening."  I feel it.  I feel my motivation beginning to wane.  I feel the questions.  I feel the doubts.  I feel me.

BUT I WANT MY POT!!!!  I start scrubbing....harder and harder and harder.  I see silver breaking forth from the bottom and it's getting wider and wider. That's when I hear it.  My Daddy's voice. He says "THAT'S WHO YOU ARE!YOUR MY DAUGHTER WHO DOESN'T QUIT!  YOUR MY DAUGHTER WHO DOESN'T GIVE UP! YOU KEEP GOING! REMEMBER WHAT YOUR FRIENDS USED TO CALL YOU. THEY CALLED YOU THE COME BACK KID, BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT CAME UP AGAINST YOU, YOU KEPT THE SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND YOU KEPT BELIEVING ME!  YOUR MY DAUGHTER!  YOU DON'T QUIT!"

By the time He was done speaking the pot was sparkling like new.

Life is hard.  Life hurts sometimes and it hurts bad.  Sometimes we get lost in the midst of it all.  But I PRAISE GOD!!  Because just like with Peter, He is there to immediately pull us out of the raging sea as soon as we say JESUS!!  JESUS, I NEED YOU!!  I CAN'T DO THIS!!  I DON'T HAVE IT IN ME GOD!!  I NEED YOU TO RESCUE ME!!

There is a beauty in being vulnerable.  There is a beauty in being transparent. There is a beauty in our weakness.  God is not scared of it.  Sometimes we are. So we push it down.  But let God rip off the band aids.  Don't be scared of it. Don't be scared to be real with God.  I don't know how we can think we can be anything else but. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows our truth. He knows our current condition.  And He also knows the plans He has for us even in the midst of those conditions.  So trust Him with it.  He can handle it...and you can too.

Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall. Psalm 55:22 NLT

Thank You God for the Lesson in a Burnt Pot!!